[The First Step]
Mouth wide open, screams replaced by gasps for fresh air. It was a beautiful crisp morning; birds chirping poetically out his window. Grasping for moments trying to remember his dream. Trying to make sense of it. Looking around Noah stopped…Gazing at his own tired reflection through the half-opened bathroom door in the mirror above his rusted sink.
Geeze I look beaten.
He looked old, even to himself. Misery written all over his face.
Do I honestly think no one else can see this?
Sitting up in bed he fixed his pillow and stretched to reach ‘a book’ that the kind older Gentleman gave him just two mornings ago.
His third morning-already halfway through-Noah was engrossed in every beautifully ideal thought the author expressed. His own notes written in the margins, and questions written on different colored post-its, some marked ‘Pages of Significance’. It was 8 o’clock in the morning and after that crazy dream he needed guidance. Ritualistic Bibliomancy; some people at his church called it ‘Bible-dipping’…but this wasn’t The Bible. Have a question? Close your eyes, point, open your eyes, read = Solution! After a dream like that Noah was willing to try anything. Closing his eyes, focusing on his desire for some sense of direction, praying for insight: He placed ‘a book’ flat on his left hand… Right hand gently resting on the cover. Randomly opening ‘a book’…Pointing on a page…He slowly opened his eyes to read:
“Meditation Park”
Looking at his hound dog even more confused, he thought out-loud:
“How’s this meant to be helpful?”
Just to be sure, he started reading the section…As expected, nothing stood out as useful. A pointless exercise. Sure, (Noah internally argued with himself) a local Meditation Park would be nice and relaxing on a morning such as this, but I need a MIRACLE not another dream.
Noah needed the sort of miracle brought about by making a real life-changing decision. But what could he change? Tense anxiety. A heavy deep sigh as he swiped the book off his lap onto the floor; startling his dog into a riled up bark monster. Ears flying in the air like a super-hero-hound, Prince William jumped off the bed, landed, and tripped over the book, knocking it open. Noah flung half his body over the side of his bed hoping his dog wasn’t hurt…PW was fine…sitting next to the book looking up at his frazzled owner, then looking at the open pages:
“The First Personal Step:
Forgiveness Meetings”
A smile crept over Noah’s lips.
“You are an instrument of the Lord Willie, Good Dog!”
Twenty minutes after receiving his divine “instruction” Noah shuffled to his kitchen and poured a steaming cup of his favorite organic blend into his pug of a mug…The pugs face was overly happy, wide-eyed and ready for the day; Noah wasn’t there yet. Nostrils resting over the ledge of his coffee cup, he took several deep meditative breaths; waking up slowly was a nice indulgence. 24 years old. Looking like an 80 year old. Noah had the world resting firmly on his shoulders, whether he liked it or not…and this was not gravity’s fault. Glancing over at his calendar, there were two very distinct choices for his day:
One: Stick with his weekly Saturday church appointments
[Easy, comfortable and familiar…yet killing his soul at a pretty steady pace]
Two: Try out the First Personal Step in ‘a book’
[WAY out of his comfort zone, unfamiliar, and downright scary…but he wasn’t sure it could be much worse than his first option]
He took a long drag from his vaporizing pen, then, surprising even himself, he chose what was behind door number two. After having portions of that same creepy nightmare three nights in a row, Noah knew something had to change, and it had to change today! Taking his first sip of coffee goodness, it dawned on him that this was perhaps the rarest of occasions when church was not only NOT going to help, it was making the perceived problems larger than need be. He was beginning to equate church with judgment and hypocrisy and Noah wanted no part in either. He couldn’t change them his way and they couldn’t help him theirs…
The decision was made.
The first of many that day.
Into The Mystic, Ash 